cover

fragmentropy (2015)
CHAPTER ONE: ANISOTROPIC DANCES
A Sky-High Pile of Anarchy
Brand New Mornings

CHAPTER TWO: THE POLITICS OF ENTROPY
Uncertainty
Entanglement
Eigenstates

CHAPTER THREE: THE ART OF DOUBLE BINDING
The Black of White
Shades of Silver
 
 
music and lyrics by t
all voices and instruments performed by t
mixed by t
engineered, recorded and produced by t at black box studios
mastered by juergen lusky at hofa studios
artwork by t
photography by katia tangian


lyrics (1994-2015)

CHAPTER ONE: ANISOTROPIC DANCES

 

A Sky-High Pile of Anarchy

 

You came in late at night

A sky high pile of anarchy

Redeemed in satisfaction

Bored beyond belief

Selling thoughtshaped emptiness

To the blackness between the certainties

 

Eyelined shyness, life scared stiff by poetry

Nosebleed timing caged inside relief

Holified

 

Toothbrush your smile away

The mirror spits you in the eye and quietly

You peel your eyes out of their voids

And curtain call the sleepless nights' security

 

Starlight so unwanted now, as dead as marriage vows

Encaged inside your bedroom walls' event horizon nows

 

Yes, I remember you in half-hearted November smiles

The moon too bright and pale and mis-shaped

Like the headache you required

And the stars our bitter punctuation

In their wide-eyed new moon shine

Estranged by fricatives, derided in reluctant bias

 

White hole memory alibies incisoring over me

Corrupted destinies guffawing out gray matter guile

 

Scripted sex and stylesheet dialogue

Your how town i-ness

twelvedimensional DND

Dysfunctions and dryness

 

Borderlines satisficed, worldline's blight

 

Rummaging our second thoughts

Rear view childhood greed alive in empty diaries

 

Life's grown older now

Penultimate desires in monochrome reluctancies

 

Everything we thought we were, the substance of our scars

Everything our visions blurred, anisotropic farces

 

Through the fire a reentrant rendezvouz

Creeping through the backdoor, drunk and dry

Deceased for now

 

Thumbing through caresses a sky high pile of tears

Never heard the last of it, googled all our fears

 

Flowers in the window, withered dehydration

Release me

 

And then your sundawned smile bursting through the drapes

Confiding vanity, forsaken and hole-shaped

The thirteenth at the table in twelve dimensional fireworks

A hibernating car crash, inflate in times of need

You bearing my remembrance to shoulder my new day

The Heir of Nothing Special, the Queen of Crude Dismay

 

We gave it up and spit into our hands

The allies of distraction, the sidekicks of despair

Our universe designed to laugh at daylight's certainties and sleep

Holding back the years that whisper from behind us

Forgotten, but not lost, and blatantly unkind

We huddled in your scandals, we kissed beneath my rain

And wallowing in question marks we reaped, their scorn our vail

 

Dancing our blacknoised stance, pirouetting wires

Dawn-sparkled revenants, the spider and the fly

A reply-paid fiasco to clean our broken slates

A study in disaster to laugh the ghosts away

Your hand embedding mine in net-stance elegies

A toothless apparition, a justice league of peons

 

Stooped and invincible, spitting at the sun

(We'll be the chosen ones)

Writhing in petulance, hysterically wrong

(Still, very wrong)

The arrogance of boredom, all doubts choked by relief

(Bored of boredom)

Optimized for deathwish, a sudden blow of peace

The joy of renunciation, the gasping of release

A dream of stark frustration, the heroes of the bleak

 

And the stars in your hand that you took from the sky

Remind us of everything we'll feel

So little time, so little space and I'm heading north this time

Where I'll dream of your voice under a burnt-out sun

 

 

Brave New Mornings

 

Hope for spooky action in closed timelike straight lines

Abundant like pollution

The stench of our resilience, the rot of the unspoken

The mirror of the gap

Slip-on retraction sealed with a hiss

 (And still there's only us)

 

Once in the Age of the Free when the Dream of the Day

Was disclosed in hurrays, your wishes followed you home

 

Since then you only sleep with open eyes

To make sure it's still yourself

When your razor cuts your welts

Spider-bitten and dishevelled

 

And you collect your fall-out tears

To fake your traces to reveal

They lead to otherworldly fears

Providing excuses and appeals

 

So all I got was older, like trust

The sky too black, like headache, caulking my way

 

Everything we said we were

Our punchlines oh so smart

Doodling borrowed time

Optimized for transparency

A life on broken glass

Screensaving smiles

 

And I reenter those nights every day

Like your time's all that is real for me

Highlighting scars like hyperlinks

Stylesheets to guard my desires

 

We mourn the laughter in the backshifts we call world

Ergodic suicides to sleep too tight

Dripping from our mouths like new moon shine

Yes, all I got was older, encaged and pacified

 

What a waste of timeto speak to you again

The same redundancies of breathless gaps

Safe and self-affirmative your crafted assumptions

Your fortress of apathy, artilleries of logjams

Lurking for halts

Creeping through backdoors a lack of tristesse

Urging us backwards, urging us back

 

And yes, then there was the day

when you spoke of the sun and the shadows I plant

On the land of your heart and I yawned

 

Cause the metaphors bore me, the drama distorts me

Your violence erupts me, your farces abort me)

 

And I watched the clouds mirror the sun

 

Stonewhite rehearsals for choirs of the dastards

Poising your cigarettes in frames of disaster

Trying to wear my insecurity as your make-up

Distilling my winks as the cane in your teacup

Save us from there

 

Watching the clouds mirror the sun

Fearing my dreams like a man on the run

In the blink of an eye there's eternity yearning

Make time for your roleplays based on our learning

Pulling the strings pulling strings that pull me

Having me dance to your smile's havary

Hasten the world in the blink of an eye

Eternity's churning, no time now to die

 

So rip it all up, burn down the tears

That built our own cages, hermetically smeared

Read from my lips and hear out my eyes

Find me in nosebleeds and migraines you sired

 

Brave ritardando in the gaps between the sheets

Wholesale debacle in the parings and the lees

Reluctancy buster in the remnants that you freeze

Scatterbrain luster in the black holes in your teeth

 

Huddled in slander in the soil beneath the keep

Mindfuck misrendered in the falling of the leaves

A gesture to end it: There's the shadow you call "me"

A foe to a friend?

 

So if it's all a show, boil down the script and go

Keeping the action low, bound to be played alone

 

Everything you thought you were, every time you surged

Everyone you ever kissed and every dream you served

Remember

 

A hatful of dust and a change of resentment

Are we Nash or Pareto? Debrief me from waiting

Sail me through the clouds on our heartbeats' timeline

A tete a tete with hopeless hope decomposing endings tonight

(We should not fight)

 

And I bray at the stars and I howl at the moon

Like the carnage in our room shedding banes, burning boons

As I stagger from your lair through your flesh, torn and pared

And I crawl out the door and you're over soon

 

 

CHAPTER TWO: THE POLITICS OF ENTROPY

 

Uncertainty

 

Changes, grave, respondents restrained

The chill of desire, the paradox of time

We can always remember, we can always cry

 

Our two-state solution

We hide beneath the stars
A truce to hide the truth in smaller thoughts
A hashtag for a scar
Too comfy for decisions and too alone to cry

 

I'm sorry: A candle blown out

I'm sorry: The rain in your cloud

 

A trick of the trade, the souls that you saved

The end of your speech, and you're leaving the stage

 

The grace of denials, the stake and the pyre

A pledge of remembrance to muffle your cries

The queen of goodbyes

 

Collusive in solutions: A cosmos we rewrite
A gap in our illusion
Rejecting cups of hemlock we pray a little smalltalk
Clears us of our deeds

Orpheus depetrified, singing in the rain

Tampering with future past, the beauty of disdain

Like flowers in the window, withered dehydration

A hazy assignation, a night of lube and wane

All the sweetest perfumes of quantum gravitation

Remind us of remembering, an eigenstate derailed

 

I'm sorry, I'm leaving you now

I'm sorry, I cancelled my vow

 

And I wake, my heart in my hands panting aloud

One more day to beg and to pray the sky won't crash down

 

The stardust we're caught in reluctant to settle and die

Your eyeshade traditions still echoed in wavering choirs

 

So many times followed this line

But if you love me, please stay home tonight

So many times followed this line

But on this coffee-stained dusk I'm alive

 

The sun so cruel to mirror her light in all we burned down

Lost in space equipped with a smile and a groat opera frown

 

So many times followed this line

But if you want me, I'm out for a bribe

All the good times, the times of our life

Make us ignore how we bleed in the wire

 

Entanglement

 

On the blink of star-crossed wisdom

A simple plan: The art of passing by

Makes us ignore how we creep in desire

 

Can you sing out of tune with no-one listening?

So now stand straight, count to ten, then turn round and fire

 

To the brim of the fun that lurk in your needles
We parade in God's footsteps gasping at apocalypses
The last of the mohicans with his concubine's scalp
Bleeding through his backpack, leaving traces in the stardust

 

That's where we lost it, in cold randoori kisses

We held our hands like xylographs designed by our own pasts

We should want more than this, than memories to defend our selves

My dastard syllogisms, the caitiffs of the crown

 

A simple plan, a simple thought

Handsome, cool, yet understyled


Binge drinking revelations, a war we should have fought
For the basic truths of simplicity that noone ever finds simple
A head full of rust and a scent of replacement

That's where we lost it, in cruel poetic justice

The neophytes of urgency for yet another week

We sure want more than this, than shadows of our future selves

To yield to syllogisms and echoes of a doubt

 

But how i miss you and now I understand

Oh what a waste of dopamine to dream of you again

But still I miss you. Yes, how I miss you

 

We could enter through a backdoor in our self-imposed exile

A Trojan in our self-schemes, a grid test we'd contrive

In idiographic algorithms struggling for relief

In a footnote in a treatise on attachment theory

A working model sweven's manifesto, white on white

Corrollary affection in the ooze of daily grind

Fledging in God's footsteps as His cyberspace assign

Vicariously intimate and graceful in decline

Acting out "I love you"s though love is deaf and blind

Frantic in conviction, the weapon of the kind

Courting you from flowcharts while the world must stand aside

Though everybody knows us here as Cinderella and Clyde

 

That's how I want to love you, in illiterate desire

Is this really happening?

I know we lost it, but can you live without me?

Our continental drift like dew must fade in mists

I sure want all of this, those shadows of the past

In senseless egoism, like rain inside a cloud gone by

 

To the brim of the fun that stems from your dreams

Now that I remember you you're suddenly different

The last of the modernists splattered on the pavement

Leaving my style like the ring leaves the Shire

In a frenzy of time I redeem and admire

Self-handicapped sprees of a narrative me

K logW'ed past tense a lie to protect

Stylesheet adventures forever more

 

To the brim of the fun that I don't recall

Now that I remember you I don't dream of you at all

And you sing your last tune because you know I am listening

That's where you lose me, when you win it too much

Delay of gratification leads into addiction

As if your lifetime was the only thing real enough

Like your eyes wear my body and your breath floats my world

Grid test emotions and REP'ed longings

Collateral orgasms forever more

 

And this is why I try to keep you locked in dreams

I couldn't stand those snippets of the real

 

But there she is, high above, unreachable, tumbling through the clouds

There she is, the sadness in her smile to say she must be going now

 

I was trying not to cry and swallowed all my lies

When I knew she wouldn't come back

I could only watch her fly, her dance across the sky

Her gleam is all that's left

 

Still, there she is, high above, unreachable, a spectre in the clouds

There she is, another perfect rendezvous, but I mast be going now

 

Eigenstates

 

It's not that simple, I understand that now

We stayed alive to watch it die

 

And on a bleak autumn day like a tear down the drain

It will pass, it will fade away

 

Like throwaway pollution, let it sink into mud

It's not that simple

 

Hearts break once a while and only time will tell you why

We'll sort it out the other day in a hurricane to clean the slates

 

A simple plan to wear it off snd wake a life to live about

To dream of rain and pause in shine

A life of hope forever mine, a last resort in stardust

 

It's not that simple to see you smile

A perfect groom in perfect style

 

No, not that simple to shake your hand

To hold the poise, to nod my head

 

Hearts break all the time and there's no God to tell you why

There's that gap in our world through which you escaped

When you talked of illusions and I smashed the plates

 

In the cold light of day, at the end of a smile

There's a chance we could droop droop our alibis

 

A sky of quantum gravity, too good at words for honesty

A simple plan to wear it off, to live a life worth grieving for

 

All the walks out in the rain just to keep my curse at bay

In a fury of salvation for all my life

All your words and all your nights, all our days and all our sighs

It's all remembered

And now I hide in everyones and stay a stranger to the sun

A last resolve in stardust

 

 

CHAPTER THREE: THE ART OF DOUBLE BINDING

 

The Black of White

 

I must learn that this is everything there'll ever be to live by

All our struggles, all our fears, the endless hours, the light years

Stumbling into conversation like I took the wrong door

The perfect deprecation: a goal to live for

 

I take my revolver and put it in my mouth

To get used to it for the day I need it

Your dreams my Kantorek

A sudden brush of empathy

Legal as the lottery, your hope an only child

 

All by myself, the one and only

Bored and disheveled: Lost, not lonely

 

I entered the bar through a hole in my jaw

And I sat on a stool and, like Jon,I looked cool

When the inevitably besmoked femme fatale

Took the catwalk to pass through the room in regale

Slake understatement with half-open eyes

Her black dress and high heels foreshadowed the cries

Of the victims of those that sprang back to the sides

 

She glid on the stool next to mine

And wetted her lips to say "Hi"

I was glamorous as Pink and Happy as Floyd

With my back to the wall and my heart and hands moist:

"Alatulya, man esselya na? Alas, my sweet gal, that was Quenya."

She looked at me once, she tried to speak twice

And jumped from her stool in a hurry

 

When I spoke to my Ma, she gave me cocoa

And she talked about girls and the laws of the world

That will come into play for to make procreation

Be part of my life in a practical style

And I sat down and cried, let my unicorns die

Got a hug and "oh my"s, and a very deep sigh

And a brandnew pullover for geek casanovas

Went back to the bar like a new rising star from a song from afar

And I scored

 

But the next thing I know is that look and that frown

When she entered my room and she saw Dr Doom

On my sheets and my pillows, that counter-earth edition

And it's suddenly late and I'm suddenly "mate"

And she's gone

 

So I take my revolver and put it in my mouth

To get used to it for the day I need it

 

And that was the day when I ran to the coast

With a pen and a scrapbook to capture her ghost

And I'd scream at the waves that I'd never stop cursing her name

That's the end of that game

 

If I could see forever and every multiverse

I'd still find nothing in there that she left unusurped

 

'Twas the end of my world, bought a bible-black shirt

In a size like a girl's - Starless!

And my long hair unfurled to be cut like Jim Kirk

Like his rank to assert

Brave new Zegna, hail to thee

Sixpacked gender, wide-cut ender

Lat defender, He-Man dreams

 

Dressed to the nines I'm selfish, I'm unkind

You dream of old times, I'll tell you what:

You're the one who told me that

Blackeyed is now where it's at

Open like a room to let

I know I'm not going back home

 

Let it slide, let it fade - into anger

All my dreams, all my fears, all turned into

Fractured, remorseless and doubtless

Stylish, resentful and clueless

Happy, beloved and dumb

 

Oh, brave old days: Glory without blaze

I'm over you (But how I miss you)

 

Shades of Silver

 

Do you only shine at night?

Is there anything to hide?

Melancholy and my darkest thoughts

Was what you always brought

Venus by your side

You shine and shine your reckless silver light

 

Sister Moon won't love me just the way I am

She's the one who really doesn't care

Please, please let me be your sweetest part

Or may I be your bravest foe

When the leaves still fall in autumn?

 

What's the matter with you, boy?

Why do you look at me?

Your shining silver sad glances

Are not worth thinking about this stranger

Don't talk about black or white

They're just shades of grey

My shades of silver

 

Sister Moon won't love me just the way I am

She's the one who really doesn't care

Please, please let me be your sweetest part

Or may I be your bravest foe

When the leaves still fall in autumn?

 

The leaves will fall this autumn

They know our passions

Realize them for one night

You'll see there's no need to deny

If Sister Moon will shine on

And bathe us in her light

But for you I'll kiss Venus goodbye